Have you ever had that feeling of standing on the edge of a deep, dark abyss and at any minute you could lose your footing and be lost forever. Well my life has been like that of late. I have been going through some things -- trying to decide if I should go or if I should stay in my present situation and the people in the immediate vicinity are offering no comfort at all. It seems to me that they are smothering me -- pushing a little -- seeing if I can stand my ground or if I will fall never to return to the life I want -- the one I desire.

Have to say I really hate this feeling. I hate being indecisive. I am the one who always has all the answers. I'm the one everyone always comes to for advice. I have the ability to look at situations logically and rationally and make the best decision based on fact not emotion. Maybe that is why I struggle with this decision. There is an emotional element as well as a logical element to the decision. The logical decision tells me to just move on -- this is a situation that right now is not healthy for me and should I not be allowed to be happy and healthy. But the flip side of the coin is that I have spent a long time in this situation. It is a huge part of my life. Is it what defines who I am? I would hope not, but one never truly knows now do they.

Well for now it means more reflection until I make a decision -- a decision that will alter the world I live in and the people around me.  Do I have the courage to do what I need to do?